First date mistakes

Dating can be complicated – find out what guys really think about the first time

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Making plans

Don’t subject yourself or your date to hours of uncomfortable silence if things don’t click. Schedule a short first date and ease the pressure. “Coffee or drinks is better because you can both bail and it’s cheap. You don’t want to waste time or money on someone you’ll never see again,” explains 34-year-old Mike. What about the day date? “Never,” he says. “That makes it seem like a job interview.”

Attire

Leave the sexy duds at home. When asked if there’s such thing as too much cleavage, most guys said yes. Surprised? “If a woman shows up in [sexy] clothes, then I think she’s putting it out there for everyone to see, that it has nothing to do with me,” one man confessed. Go with something that makes you feel pretty as opposed to sexy, and you’ll be fine. And a good pair of jeans goes a long way; guys said it was the number one thing they like to see a woman wearing.

Conversation

“I’d be turned off if she agreed with everything I said,” says 36-year-old Ken. “One time, a woman argued with me about her favourite film – which I hated [on our first date]. She didn’t change my mind, but we did date for a few months.” Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, whether it’s your political opinion or the merits of the Sex and the City movie.

Paying the bill

Some men feel it’s polite to pay, and that a gentleman always does. Others believe in the “Whoever did the asking, pays” policy, while some always split the bill. Your best bet is to offer to pay your half and wait for his reaction. And if he wants to pay, let him! “I get annoyed when women go on and on about paying their way,” says 42-year-old Henry. “It’s like women who can’t take a compliment. Just say thanks.”

Saying good night

The location was perfect, the conversation flowed and the bill has been paid…does the date have to end? Nope. “If I like her and it seems like she likes me, then I’ll ask if she wants to go for a walk, or check out another place,” says Mike. “I’m basically trying to find a place to kiss her, whether that’s walking where there are less people or [by] getting a little tipsy.” If the vibes are there and you want to kiss or be kissed, go right ahead. Be direct, even. “I once said during drinks that I hoped I would be kissed later,” says 41-year-old Alison. “My date smiled and said he’d see what he could do about that. Less than an hour later, we were kissing on the street.” Sounds like a solid beginning.

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