Dave: There were a lot of things I was prepared to compromise on: hymns, flowers, location. But I remained resolute on the food and music. No airplane-grade chicken Divan for me, thanks. I wanted steaks and corn on the cob.
Lisa: And you got them. I think. I was so nervous I can’t remember eating, but we did get a lot of compliments on the food. The barbecue was also much cheaper than the standard wedding menu, which costs 400 percent more just because it contains the word “wedding.”
Lisa: With the technology available today, there’s no reason to hire a cheesy DJ to play “The Chicken Dance” – unless you like that sort of thing.
Dave: I kinda do like that sort of thing, even if we didn’t play it. Using an iPod meant the birdie song was there if anyone absolutely had to hear it, but it also guaranteed that we had your power ballads of the ’80s, and I had the entire Kinks back catalogue at my fingertips.
Dave: I’m a little embarrassed to admit that my kilt cost more than your dress. But at least I wasn’t one of those guys who argues the tux will look better with a pair of Converse sneakers, right?
Lisa: At least you’ll wear it again. I couldn’t spend $1,000 on a dress that’s put away after a half-day’s wear. I just got lucky and found something that fit off the rack. If I hadn’t, I may have been the one arguing that a jean skirt and sneakers looked just fine.
Dave: Every family has its share of black sheep…I don’t know how we managed to seat the guests in such a way that minimized the potential for disaster. I bragged to friends that in the end there was only one table of “misfits.” Big mistake. All night, people asked me if they were at the misfit table.
Lisa: Yes, the seating arrangement “you” worked out was very good. It took “you” hours to organize who was and wasn’t attending, who was bringing a date, who couldn’t be sat with whom, and so on. Good job.
Dave: Uh, thanks?
Lisa: This is one place where you have to compromise a bit, find jobs for everyone so no one feels left out and include your great aunt’s favourite hymn…
Dave: Pop quiz: What was the title of the song my dad and the family friend sang during the ceremony? No Google allowed.
Lisa: “Blah Blah Something Nice About Friendship and Love,” by the Carpenters. As if you remember, either.
Lisa: I know it went smoothly in the eyes of the guests, but there were mixups: we sent the flower girl down the aisle too soon, no one ate the cake, I don’t remember leaving. If we had a kid planning a wedding, I’d stay out of the way – it’s such a stressful event. Just as long as they play “Faithfully” by Journey at the ceremony.
Dave: Hmmm. I don’t remember eating any cake either. But I do remember carrying you back to the hotel. And I remember being sent out to fetch chocolate bars. And I remember finding you passed out when I returned. I assure you, you had a great time.