You should not have to wait for a weekend getaway or an annual vacation to get yourself and your partner ready for sex. When there is no time to get away, you can still shift gears away from everyday events by creating an oasis in your home. A relaxing and inviting bedroom environment is very important. It is most often the last room in a house to get a makeover, but it should be the first.
1. Build your oasis by starting with a comfortable mattress, buy good sheets, a great duvet, and super fabulous pillows that make you want to spend more time under the covers. Replace harsh lighting with soft lights that have dimmers. Get a lock on your door, and advise other members of the household to always knock before entering when the door is closed. Most women find it hard to relax and enjoy sex if they are listening for children entering the bedroom.
2. A “family bed,” where children sleep with their parents from birth until the child feels comfortable in a separate bed in another room, is the ultimate anti-sex pill. If you and your partner have made the decision to have a family bed, then you better have a back-up plan for your sex life.
3. Do not have a television in your bedroomâyou will end up watching the news or sports at bedtime. Neither of these programs are fuel for erotica or cuddlingâespecially if his team misses the playoffs. News reports have been found to raise cortisol levels. This is a big no-no for testosterone levels.
4. Get in the habit of turning on your favorite soothing music as soon as you enter the bedroom. Even brushing your teeth will be more relaxing this way. If you and your partner go to bed at different times, break that habit and make bedtime a shared ritual, even if it is only a 10-minute ritual. Give each other a gentle massage in the places where muscle tension builds up before turning in for the night. Don’t read or work in bed. Share bedtime with your partner.
5. And here is a hint for the guysâturn up the heat! Not that heat. Room temperature can mean the difference between wanting to get naked or wanting to wear fleece. Most men have a much lower tolerance for heat and like the environment cool, whereas women, until they hit menopause, are often seeking flannel in order to ward off the goose bumps.