7 ways to avoid being that person on Black Friday

There’s no shame in getting excited about a good deal — but here’s how not to be a jerk about it.

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Credit, iStock.
Credit, iStock.

A mere 24 hours after our American counterparts lovingly join hands to give thanks around a turkey and tater–laden table, many of them can be found pile-driving each other over a discounted juicer. But nor are Canadians immune to an excuse to shop-til-we-drop: In recent years, the Black Friday craze has seeped north of the border, with retailers extending hours and slashing prices to cater to our spendy ids.

According to a survey cited in Macleans, “more than half of all Canadians—or 19.3 million people—plan to take advantage of Black Friday and Cyber Monday (its online companion) sales, while 1.2 million say will they call in sick to work on Nov. 27,” But for all of the hype, Black Friday has nothing on Boxing Day, which is still the biggest shopping day of the year for Canadians. If you’re planning to drop some cash regardless, here’s how to do so with your dignity (and most of your hair) intact.

1. Do not buy two printers. Actually, do not even buy one printer. Print at work like literally every other person.

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2. If you’re heading to an actual, real-life store — like Walmart, Staples or Best Buy — remember that, like you, your fellow shoppers have bodies and feelings that they’d like to keep in good condition. (Or, at the very least, do everyone a solid and cut your nails beforehand.)

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3. Avoid crossing the border at all costs. It’s time-consuming, the exchange rate is hovering around a meagre 75 cents on the dollar, and by shopping domestically, you can avoid gorging yourself at Applebee’s.

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4. Upon reaching the payment screen, mentally envision your perfect, grown children on their college graduation day, dressed proudly in cap and gown. College is probably a better investment than 12 HDTVs.

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5. If you find your rage levels rising in the checkout line, dip into your purse-snack inventory. It’s your blood sugar, not the cashier.

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6. You know that friend who calls out your less-than-stellar dating decisions and tells you when sweaters look weird on you? Yeah, bring her.

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7. No running. Ever. You’re better than that.

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