Social quandary: My friend has a crush on my ex-boyfriend

She hopes to reunite with her ex one day – but this friend isn’t helping the situation.

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three people, couple, holding hands on sofa, two women, one man
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Have you found yourself in an awkward situation? Has someone irked you and you’re not sure how best to proceed? If so, you’re not alone! Every week, we feature a reader-submitted quandary so that you can weigh in with your best advice. What would you do in their situation? If you’d like to submit your own quandary, click here.

My boyfriend and I broke up a couple months ago. It hasn’t been easy, since we still care about each other, but our life goals weren’t matching up (read: work or travel long-term), so we decided to call it quits.  My friend Anna* has known him as long as I have, since we both met him at the same time. Anna and I aren’t good friends — we just have a lot of the same friends, but I’ve known her for years. Over the year and a half that we dated, I grew suspicious that Anna had developed feelings for him. She always seemed to sing his praises a little too much, or come up with reasons to see him more. One time, he even told me that she put her hand on his leg under the table! I never said anything because I didn’t see it myself so maybe it was harmless.

Since our breakup, Anna has been hanging out with my ex and his friends a lot. I don’t really know what her intentions are with him, but it really bothers me that they’re hanging out. Since we’re not close friends, I’m not sure I have the right to tell her that her actions are bothering me. And since him and I have broken up, I’m not sure if I’m allowed to have that conversation with him either. I’m afraid that I may come off as the “crazy ex-girlfriend”. But the truth is that I still have hopes that my ex-boyfriend and I may one day get back together. Should I say something? What should I do?

*names have been changed

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Read our previous social quandaries here.